How do i feel better?

If you are feeling like a victim, read this: 'I don't want to feel this way anymore. I thought if my pain touched their lives I'd feel better. I didn't. I thought by holding it over their heads I'd feel better. I didn't. I thought by telling everyone what they'd done to me I'd feel better. I didn't; it only cost me friends and kept the pain alive. I thought if they acknowledged how wrong they've been I'd feel better. They didn't, so I felt worse. 'I thought if I could understand why I pick such relationships I'd feel better. So I read books and talked with counselors. But that didn't work, because then I uncovered other issues I didn't have the emotional energy to deal with. 

I thought time would make me feel better. It helped, but it didn't heal, because there were still too many things that triggered old memories. I thought by moving to a new house in a new city and getting a new job I'd feel better. I didn't; I only changed addresses, not what was going on inside me. 'Finally, I did two things that worked; not overnight, but gradually, patiently, consistently as I kept doing them, they worked. First, I decided to forgive - and keep forgiving until the past no longer controlled me. Second, I cried out to God, "Turn ... me, and I shall be turned." He answered my prayer. My perceptions began to clear and my heart began to heal ... at last, getting well meant more...to me than remaining a victim.'