Monday, 20 August 2012

The Proofs of LOVE

I want to understand love more than anything on planet earth because I know it’s a divine seed that produces a relentless unending harvest. Regardless of our personalities, we all need Love and need to give love.  Most of us know that everything that looks like love is not LOVE and some things that don’t look like love really are love.  Forgive me if is say love isn’t any of those emotions and feelings we tend to have for someone; Love is a decision. That’s the reason why you see a husband or a wife come back home after they’ve been hurt by their partner. Their “feelings” ordinarily wouldn’t allow. 

Love is true and accurate knowledge; love is true value; and love is perfect understanding. So when I say I love you, I am claiming perfect understanding of you. I see you beyond what you look like; I see you beyond all the things you say and do, I have true and accurate knowledge of you, I have perfect understanding of your personality, and I recognize your value. However how sweet or how simple this definition may come across, it is difficult to live by it.

Briefly, I crave your indulgence to share with you some proofs of love.  It is my desire that as you read through each of these proofs, you would realize the areas in which you are lacking, and make proper adjustments. However, let me point out to you that these proofs aren’t all there is to love, but they are important enough to help you in loving better.

The proof of love is the willingness to listen.
Often times, we have so much to say that we can’t wait but interrupt the person speaking just so that we can air our opinion.  From time to time this happens to us as individuals. Listening says: “I value you enough to be patient to hear what you’ve got to say.” When we listen to others with interest, we add value to their lives. For a moment, I feel we should close our laptops, put aside our blackberries, iPhones and other gadgets and give our undivided attention to the person in front of us. So, if we claim to love someone, listening to them shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to do. people want someone who can listen to them.

The proof of love is the gift of time
 When you give someone your time, you are giving him or her part of your life you can never take back. In the words of Rick Warren, “the best way to spell LOVE is ‘TIME’.” We would spend time with the people we love the most. Spending time with the people we love allows us the opportunity to get to get to know them more on a deeper level. Often time, we give a huge part of our time to people that add little or no value in our lives and give little or no time to the people that add the greatest value in our lives. Who do you need to spend time with that you are not spending time with currently?

The proof of love is the gift of correction
Correction says: “I love you enough to stop you from going the wrong way even if it’s going to cost me our relationship.”  Correction diminishes painful experiences. It’s only normal for us to want to sweet-talk the people in our lives even though we know what they are doing isn’t right. If I love you, I should be bold enough to let you know when you go haywire.  Sadly, “correction” has cost many people relationships. Some relationships have had to crash because one person decided to correct the other. However, it is important to correct those whom we love in LOVE.

The proof of love is the passion to pleasure
Lust is a desire to extract pleasure from another person while love is a passion to create pleasure for another person. The proof of love is a passion to pleasure. Everyone in a relationship knows the importance of becoming skilled at loving their partner. There is something about a passion to pleasure; what does this person love? What do they enjoy? Not what we wish they would enjoy. Create an environment where love can be expressed in a glamorous way. Some people do have a problem with being romantic. Let me share something funny with you: I know a friend of mine that won the heart of a girl he had been admiring just by buying her roasted plantain and fish. They call it “Bole.”  Funny isn’t it? Apparently, the girl hails from a rich family and has never had such ‘Local romantic treat” before. The guy being a sharp guy knew that the girl needed something different; something out of the ordinary. She needed a new environment where love can be expressed. Now, I’m not saying you should go buy your partner plantain oh!! You are on your own. All I am trying to say is become skilled at pleasuring the person you say you love.

The proof of love is in the willingness to adapt.
When you love someone there is a remarkable skill that enters you for adaptation. You are able to adapt to changes and unexpected request. It’s what keeps a mother going; it is not the child qualifying but the mother’s to ability adapt.  How do we adapt to the unexpected changes in behaviors from our partners?

The proof of love is a relentless desire to protect.
We all have the tendency to protect the things we love. You see a guy in a public place always reaching out for his pocket to find out if his wallet is intact. Loving someone means protecting those we love. They should be sure of their safety whenever they are with us. 

The proof of love is the willingness to define your expectations.
Love creates expectations. If I start investing my life in you and my emotions in you and I talk to you and I share with you, I expect that you reciprocate even a little bit of the love I show you. I expect you to become faithful to me. I expect you to let me know the plans you have for your future. E.t.c

The proof of love is the swiftness to forgive.
Forgiveness is such a big idea and would take me a page or two to write about. It is a gift you give yourself. It breaks the tie between you and your past.  It is a learned behavior. Many times the people we love the most are the ones that hurts the most and the hardest thing to do in the world when you’ve been hurt is to be open again. Regardless of the pain they cause us, we must be swift to forgive them. However, forgiving someone of something they’ve done doesn’t mean we trust them. Don’t ever mix that up. Trust has got to be built up, it has got to be restored; it has got to be earned. Forgiveness is a decision, but trust is a healing. 

I’m no relationship expert or counselor, but what I’ve just shared with you can make a whole lot of difference in your relationship if only you make up your mind to do them.

Feel free to share your thoughts and add to what have been written on the comment box below.



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