Friday, 10 August 2012

having realistic EXPECTATIONS.



Early this morning, I got into a conversation with a friend of mine and what we talked about left me thinking. I wouldn’t stop talking about the many battles people fight on the inside that we have no knowledge of. Well, we spoke at length about the kind of demands we as individuals place on the people we tend to be in a relationship with; we expect the people in our lives to be 100 percent perfect. And whenever they don’t live up to our expectations we become bitter and our actions towards them changes. Regardless of who you are, somehow, somewhere, you’ve placed unrealistic demands on the people you are in a relationship with, and this has left you feeling bitter for each time they failed you.

Having unrealistic expectations kills relationship. It puts the people in your life under pressure to perform. It makes them become conscious of their everyday dealings with you. They no longer become free with you and a relationship that’s supposed to work naturally is now being put under pressure. As an individual, I have often times found myself having unrealistic expectations from my friends. Oh! I expect them to read and respond to my ping immediately; oh! I expect them to call me every day; oh! I expect them to be there for me all the time; oh! At all point in time, I expect their attitude towards me to be perfect. But then, there are some things your friends can’t give to you. You’ve got to give yourself what you deserve. This is me being real.

 I realized that many of the things we look for in people we lack them ourselves. We must be careful not to put the people in our lives under pressure to perform. Everyone you meet has his or her own battles to fight, and expecting people to come fight your battles for or with you when they have theirs’ to fight is unrealistic. People will definitely hurt you; whether they are aware of it or not, they will hurt you.  That only goes to show they are humans.  When such happens, you must understand that communication is the key. Don’t hold on to something that bothers you and expect things to go smoothly. Relationships crash just because the people involved failed to talk about what bothers them. They allow their pride get in the way of their relationship. You must understand that Pride builds a wall while love builds a bridge. And trust me when I say this, it’s really sad when the people who gave you the best memories become memories.

We must understand that even the strongest of relationships go through challenges. The people you love the most are the ones that hurt you the most. And the hardest thing to do in the world when you’ve been hurt is to be open again. However, Healing is made available only to those who open up themselves. Although healing does not come overnight, but it does come the moment you decide to open up.  Forgiveness is the key word here: Letting go of the pains inflicted on us by those we love and embracing them once again. It’s not as easy as it sound I know! But you know you’ve lost yourself when you no longer have compassion for others anymore.

As we share with one another, we must be prepared to love each other’s imperfections, even when those imperfections challenge our commitment. Don’t forget; faithful are the wounds of a friend. If a friend hurts you, it’s for a good reason. I believe you are not going to throw away your car just because the battery is bad. Similarly, I believe you are not going to throw away the people in your life just because something about them is faulty. Whatever it is, always have the right expectations from people.

Gracias.

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