Death
is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us
while we live.”
— Norman Cousins
Imagine you had this wonderful dream while you slept
last night- that you were a child again, full of joy, passion and innocence. You
were dancing barefoot in a small mountain meadow, surrounded by flower filled
valley. You could hear other children laughing and playing as you danced,
caught up in the wonder of the moment. Your heart felt happy, your mind was
quiet, and was completely at peace because of the children that watched you
dance.
Friendship is one
of the many blessings God has given each one of us. Many of us are so grateful
for the lasting friendships we have cultivated through the years. As humans, we
know that true friendship is a sacred commodity. This is a relationship that is
to be cherished and revered for a lifetime. We've experienced friendships that
have come and gone because of misunderstandings, differences in lifestyles,
spiritual or personal growth. For whatever reasons, they have left a permanent
mark on our hearts of what true friendship really is.
I am known to be a
very outgoing person and can interact with people from various cultures and
backgrounds. I believe this is one of the many gifts God has bestowed upon me.
I say this with great humility: as a child I was very shy and reserved. During
my early years, I longed for friends. I wanted people to accept and like me.
Even in high school, I felt like an outcast because I wasn't chosen to be in
what I thought was the "In" group.
Consequently, this
had a negative effect on my self-esteem. I placed little value on myself. My
self-worth was overshadowed by the quality of relationships versus the quality
of true friendships. As I matured, I learned to filter through those
relationships that weren't holding me up in the best light. Sometimes that
meant I had to light the path on my own. Like a great philosopher asserted “You wouldn’t be able to see the great quality of
another person unless you knew that quality in yourself”
Self Acceptance is
our elite but society would have you believe that it is about whom you know or
who you are connected to. Peeps, there is nothing wrong with having well-known
friends or being in the circle of connected people. However, it becomes a
problem when your self-worth is based on whom you know.
Be you - love you!
Wherever you think you aren't in life yet, should never be an indication of
where you are headed. Accept your shortcomings, mistakes; accept that some
people won't like you and some you don't need to be connected to anyway. You
can receive all the accolades you can stand, but until you can accept and love
yourself, they are only a clanging cymbal. In essence, all of life is nothing more than a projection. Like a huge movie projector,
we project into our outer worlds that we are in our inner worlds. We collect
what we project.
The Key is Quality
Not Quantity. Networking is one of the hottest concepts in building
relationships in the professional and entrepreneurial world. Business people we
know are thought to meet and connect with as many individuals as they can.
Whether it is to find a new career/job or build future relationships down the
road.
Isn't it funny how
sometimes we enter into relationships the same way? We get sucked into a lot of
drama and no substance. Then we scratch our heads trying to figure out how we
got ourselves into this situation. You will later realize that sometimes less
is more. For me, a quality relationship, whether it is personal/professional,
is one based on character, excellence, and standard. Not perfection, but one of
value that adds to and not distracts from.
There Is Joy In
Being Your Own Best Friend. A true friend is
someone who accepts you as you are, feels those fears and anxieties with you,
and sees your limitations. Just like someone said wisely “A true friend will
celebrate you, cry with you, and reason with you for your own good”. I can
truly say that I have a small, yet valuable set of friends who have helped me
to be the best I can. However, I am learning to be my own best friend too.
When I feel like
I'm not where I need to be, I smile and remember where I came from. When I fear
stepping out of my comfort zone, I feel the fear and say, "go for it guy".
And when I am confronted with my limitations, I tell myself to do what I can. A
way will be made because God never fails. I find pure joy in laughing at my
quirkiness, the silly things I say and do. When you become comfortable with
yourself, you'll realize you don't need a crowd to feel good.
All the dissatisfaction you feel is really nothing more than your best
life—your destiny knocking at the door of your current life. The ache you feel
in your inner core is your spirit telling you to wake up and get back on
track—to become congruent and authentic and be the person that you truly are. As
Hermann Hesse wrote ‘Each man has only one genuine vocation—to find the way to
himself.
When we honestly
ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have
chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender
hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion,
who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not
knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our
powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
The sad thing is that most people pay no attention to this malaise, this
emptiness, this inner longing that exists within them, this universal prompting
to awaken and discover their best selves. They believe that their unhappiness
is natural. What’s the purpose of living if you can’t help others?
Finally, Love yourself in spite of the mistakes you made in life, the
heartbreaks that keeps you bound and never forget- The more love you give
yourself, the more you’ll have available for others.
Gracias
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