Saturday, 14 July 2012

Not colors, but CHARACTER

I can’t really remember the last time I woke up at night to do some serious thinking about how far I have come in life, and how far I am to go. But last night, at about 3 am, I found myself rolling on my bed wrestling with sleep. Usually, when such happens to me, I know it’s time for me to think; time for me to do some thorough examination about myself, dreams and my relationships. With such a serene atmosphere, void of noise, mama’s call, phone calls and the disturbances of life, one can’t help but be inspired to reflect critically, about the many issues that affect his or her life. Somehow, my reflection was geared towards my relationships and how it affects my life.
The truth is we all at some point in our lives will have people come and go. And how will handle people leaving our lives tell a lot about our character. You have to, for survival sake, get to the point where you can handle people leaving. Irrespective of the pain and disappointment that comes from people leaving our lives, we’ve got to be open to those who want to come in. Assessing the people in your life and the role they play, you will discover 3 sets of people.

The first group are people who are with you. If you go up they are with you, if you go down they are with you, if you get stock they are with you, if everybody hates you they are with you. They love you unconditionally. These people know what you are afraid that somebody else would find out and they are still with you. These are the people that being around them is so comfortable that you can behave as if you were by yourself. You don’t get tired of them because you don’t have to change your behavior in their presence. They don’t use what they know about you against you. They don’t use what you preach about to fight you when sometimes you fail to live by what you preach. Isn’t that what we want from relationships? To know that you won’t leave even if you know my greatest flaws and deepest scars.  These set of people not only stick around you when times are rough for you, they also stick around you even when times are tough for them.

The second group are people who are with the cause but not you. They are only with you because of the cause. They will confuse you because they look just like the first group I mentioned above; they walk right beside you, and talk like the first category, but you must be careful to differentiate these two sets of people in your life. Their attraction is the “mission” and not you. You can still have them with you but you have to know why they are with you. They are with you as long as you are getting them closer to their goal, and they will leave you when they find someone else that can further their agenda. You thought they loved you, but they never did, they only love what you do, and when they met someone who can take them there quicker they left you, because it was never about you it was about “it.” They are like scaffolding that goes up against the building, giving it support, and leaves when the building is strong. ” The difference between these two sets of people is that they do the same thing but with different motives. They have the color but lack the character of the first group.

Lastly are the people who are not for you nor are they for what you are for. They are just against what you are against. I need not explore on this set of people as I do not intend to bore you any further. But you must understand that we need these set of people in our lives. We need a Judas on our table as well as we need john, James and peter on the same table. As we share with one another, we must be prepared to love each other’s imperfections, even when those imperfections challenge our commitment. Can you be transparent with someone and be assured that your nudity won’t affect his or her commitment to be your friend?  We must ask this question over and over again if we are to know the role people play in our lives.

I hope i didn't bore you? (lol)  feel free to leave a comment.


David Oduh said...

Cool, learnt quite enuf info for 1day :D
But d most captivating scenerio thr was d question "Can u b transparent wt sm1 & b sure dt ur nudity won't affect his/her commitment to b ur friend?"
Hmmm,well,I bliev if u r nt a perv,den ur commitment won't b affected. If Sm1 has been just a friend to u while d person has been putting on clothes,y shuld u re-consider ur friendship hierarchy cuz u saw d nude version of d person.I feel dt is just a clear definition of a PERV.
New Dictionry meaning of a PERV: A person who sees a friend in his/her nude state & wuld want to reconsider d friend's friendship status.

huntly anabs said...

First of all, Thanks for stopping by david Really do appreciate. It is important you understand that the word "nudity" here has nothing to do with any form of physical attraction but rather the intrinsic values of an individual. More like being open and transparent before someone. not like you taking off your clothes. NO!! I meant something diff. Thanks

Anonymous said...

I agree there are different categories of people in one's life and like you've pointed out they all have a purpose for being in our lives. Good people or people "bad" for us establish a balance in our lives so we appreciate what we have while we have it. The door of our lives like you rightly pointed out should be left open. If someone wants to walk let them leave I heard someone say "your destiny is not ties to anyone who would walk away from you in the 1st place".
All in all, a nice piece huntly


huntly anabs said...

Thanks alot for stopping by. Apreciate

Ebuka Ukoh said...

Indeed EXPOSITORY . . . A few tots and am out of here.

Firstly, consistency on your blog is commendable. Secondly, I am well aware that these thoughts are for the world to partake of. Correct me if I am wrong. Then it becomes inappropriate to use Judas, James, John, and Peter without a pointer to what dey stand for or who they are.

Thirdly, I saw the use of "I don’t intend to bore U" more than ONCE in this beautiful write-up and it suggests to me you are/were UNCERTAIN about the effect of what you are doing.

Finally it is CRITICAL that you understand how much this tots that are shared touch lives and how important it is for U to MAINTAIN ur believed result. In other words, at the end of such a write-up rather than have “Hope I didn’t bore u” lets have something more DEFINITE.

huntly anabs said...


Engr. Eggrbukaaaaaaaa!!! Powerful and insightful comment there. Well noted SIR. Thanks for stopping by.