Sometimes SILENCE is Better

I recently met a 20 year old lady who shared with me some of her past experiences and I couldn’t help but cry as she spoke. She told me of how her she had been raped and abused by her uncle at a very tender age.   Her relationship experience was like changing her underwear’s. Every guy she met just wanted to have sex with her, and afterwards dump her. Guys’ dumping her wasn’t something new to her, as she had been dumped more than 60 times by guys. Can you imagine the painful experiences people go through?

Wounded by her past experiences, she adopted several habits along the way. Someone who couldn’t stand the sight of smokers and drunkards began drinking, smoking and even taking drugs. As she poured out her heart, I realized she was a GOOD girl who just wanted to ease her pains by doing BAD stuffs. While I tried to comfort and encourage her with words full of hope, she wasn't interested in all I was saying or would have said. All she needed was someone who instead of giving much advice, solutions or cures, will chose rather to share her pain and touch her wounds with a gentle and tender hand. She needed someone who can be SILENT with her in a moment of despair or confusion, someone who can stay with her in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not hearing and face with her the reality of her powerlessness. All she needed was SILENCE from me, an ear WIDE open to listen and a shoulder broad enough to lean and cry on.

Sometimes SILENCE is better. We ought to allow people share with us what they go through and not even interrupt them while they speak. They have so much in them they want to let out, and how articulate we are in using those powerful words of encouragements we have for so long meditated on may not bring healing to them. All they need is for you to be SILENT and listen to them pour out their hearts.  Just by being assured that they have your full attention may be all they need to be WHOLE again.

Gracias

Never ending Love

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future didn’t seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to another country and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then…

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company …

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walk ing to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn’t take him long to realize they were his girl’s parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn’t the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed…and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her…

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for another country at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle… therefore she had chosen to leave him. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you wa nt them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again…he can take some of those back with him…

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what’s in your mind may escape but what’s in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept…The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can’t have her, see her or be with her ever again. So take the time to show those around you love NOW because you never can tell what tomorrow holds.

Gracias

Run Your Own Race

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. (Ecclesiastes 7:18)

HOPE was birth in my spirit as I meditated upon the above scripture,  I realized that this simple but profound statement can make the difference between daylight and darkness. It all depends on the lenses in which we use in viewing our world. My attention was drawn to those athletes who run long distance track races (5000- 1000 metre ). Their main goal is to get to the finish line before their opponents.  Well positioned, on hearing the sound of the gun, they take off; with some starting out very fast while others maintain a slow pace. How they start is of no business to their fans, judge, and even their fellow athlete. What everyone is concerned about is who gets to the finish line first.  What happens on the track is an exact representation of what happens in life; many runners but only few who gets to the finish line, and on the right time.

What race are you running? Or are you even on the TRACK? Do you see the finish line? These are questions we must ask ourselves each and every day.  We must be very careful not to run other peoples race or even be on the wrong track. Like the athlete who gets to the finish line and stops, knowing she has completed her race, we also must know when to STOP. We don’t stop before we get to the finish line, we stop after we have crossed the finish line.

Perhaps you started out wrongly, and may have made some terrible decisions in the past which consequences still hunt till date.  The relationship you tried everything possible to sustain just couldn’t work out. The business you invested so much in eventually failed.  You don’t just know why you’ve been rejected and ostracized by people you love.  I know that feeling that comes with not getting what we want, but I also know that feeling that comes with getting what’s best for us. Life sometimes doesn’t give us what we want, not because we don’t deserve them, but maybe, at that point in time, what we wanted wasn't good enough. Like the prodigal son that got his heritance to SOON; What would have been a blessing to him ended up being a curse because he got what was he’s at the wrong time.  More like eating your DINNER during BREAKFAST.

So I encourage you to run your race with patience, hoping that your end shall be better than your beginning. It doesn’t matter how you start, what matters most is how you finish.  While running life’s race, be careful not to compare yourself with others. Just because others are succeeding doesn’t mean you are failing.

Never allow your background keep your back on the ground.  Keep running and never give up until you get to your glorious end. Forget about the failures, and meditate on this simple but profound statement “My ending shall be better than my beginning”   and you will be amazed at how your life will turn out. Be peaceful, be patient with yourself, and believe that everything is working out for your good.

Gracias.

Dig Deep

I had just arrived Delta safely from Abuja and was very hungry!! So I asked the cook to prepare me crayfish rice for me to eat and sleep. Luckily for me, my mum being overwhelmed that her son is finally back home, decided she was going to prepare a special crayfish rice for her son (me). While I waited earnestly for the food, I thought about the many changes in my life, and how wonderful God has been to me throughout my four years in the higher institution.  

After about an hour, mama calls her young boy “Huntly come to the dining table, your food is ready oh!!!!” You know the feeling you have when you know what you’ve been waiting for is finally before you.  Well, I immediately rushed to the dining table, sat down, opened the plate, and to my greatest surprise there was no meat in the food I had been waiting for. “Oh God!! How can I eat this rice without any meat mum?” I said in an angry manner. Mum replies “Huntly, why not eat your food and stop complaining.” 

Reluctantly, I started eating the food while my mum sat beside me watching my every expression. To my amazement, beneath the rice, was the meat I had cried for and complained about when I couldn’t see it on the surface. I thought for a sec “Isn’t this how many people loose what they want even before they get it just because they gave up too soon?”  They scratch the surface, looking for treasures, and became disappointed when they couldn’t find what they were looking for. They fail to realize that treasures aren’t found on the surface. You don’t find diamonds by the road side; you’ve got to dig deep for them.  One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat. Every person is guilty of this mistake at one time or another. 

You have come too far to want to give up on that dream, relationship, business, family or even YOURSELF. I know it’s really hard to go through the wilderness experience, but that is where God teaches us CHARACTER.  Yes you were tried in the fire, but you are coming out as GOLD. It’s in that wilderness experience that we are polished and prepared for God’s plan for our lives.

 Be encouraged friend, and always know that at the end of every tunnel there is a LIGHT. Think about it… what if I had giving up on eating that crayfish rice that day just because I couldn’t see the meat on the surface?

GRACIAS

The Lost coin

This article written by me I believe is going to transform your life. I encourage you to patiently read through it.

She kept searching for her coin after it had mistakenly fallen off her hand the previous day. She swept the hidden spots of her house clean to find the lost coin, but still, she couldn’t find it. Like the woman, most of us search for that which is lost in our lives. We become disappointed and heartbroken when all our efforts in searching for that lost COIN ends up unfruitful. You alone know what your COIN is. it may be your heart, a friend or even YOU. What this woman knew was even though the coin was lost, it had not lost its VALUE it had just lost its USEFULNESS because nothing can be purchased with a loss coin.   The truth is you cannot help anyone when you are lost. You cannot fulfill your mission in life when you are lost. You cannot help your family or friends when you are lost, and somebody has to care enough about you to put a light in a very dark place. When you are caught in the crevices of life and can’t figure out how to get out, you need somebody that’s going to care enough about you to show you the way out.

I know it’s hard to be your TRUE YOU again after you may have been wounded by circumstances .But friend; you can’t remain in that broken place, that dark and unfriendly chasm. You’ve got to find your way back, you’ve got to come out from that ditch and be USEFUL once more, and the only way you can be found is to GIVE YOURSELF AWAY- give yourself away to your creator. You have got to find a way back to God so He can show you the way through life. Open up and allow him heal that broken part of you. You are valuable and the only way you can be USEFUL is to be FOUND again.

I want you to say to yourself that “I am VALUABLE, I may have lost myself but I am coming back again with the help of God.”

Regards,

Huntly Anabs

Twitter: huntlya

Kidnapped by SELF

In our contemporary world today, we hear of kidnap cases here and there. Its either the mother of one governor was kidnapped or the son to one farmer was kidnapped, and in most cases, millions of Naira are demanded from the family of the victims before they can be released.  It has now become a growing business in which many of our youths are going into. The victims are sometimes housed in a dark room or an isolated area, far away from the reach of their loved ones. They sometimes go days without being fed or giving water to drink. Some of the victims excrete in the rooms and are forced to live with the unbearable odor from their waste.  Oh!! What a traumatic experience, one in which I don’t wish my enemies experience.

Isn’t it funny how people become kidnapers of “self” each passing day?  They isolate themselves from the world, and at the same time, ask for ransom from other people before they can be released. The last time I checked, the dictionary meaning of the word “Ransom,” means “the release of a prisoner in exchange for something.”  They live in pains but are unwillingly to be healed. They hurt themselves day after day as a result of the decisions they make, but are unwilling to make any effort to make better decisions. They are trapped into living someone else’s dream because they don’t have a dream of their own.

Kidnappers as we know don’t see the value in the persons they kidnap that’s why they treat these people without mercy. What more can you expect from people who are kidnapped by “self”? They don’t see the value in themselves that’s why they talk themselves down, and feed their minds with just any information they come across. They allow people define who they are, and therefore, their identity is formed by other people’s opinion. I wonder how many people have tried to be free from this prison they are in.  They can’t seem to love again because they were heartbroken at some point. They can’t trust again because they were backstabbed at some point. They can’t try one more time because they failed at some point. Kidnapped by self, they live just another day without living for the very purpose for which they were created. They watch their dreams and aspirations fade away while they go deep into that dark chasm.

 The truth of the matter is the only way you can be free is to find your way to your creator. Self can’t free self, only God can free self. I encourage you to come out from that solitary confinement and live your best life, the reason for which you were created.  Stop waiting for other people to make you feel special. Why not feel special about YOU and love who you are?

Gracias

Huntly Anabs

True Happiness

I have been thinking, what really is true HAPPINESS? What makes a man or a woman really happy? Is it the luxury they surround themselves with or the accolades they get for their achievements or the relationships they have built their lives on? What really is true happiness?

Often times, we think accumulating wealth brings happiness into our lives, even though we do it at the expense of other people’s joy. We think, if we can work hard enough to get to the top¸ we would be recognized by people and given several awards for our achievements. We think by all these, we would be happy.

I can imagine the girl who has built her life around a guy she thinks is God fearing, noble and humble, but gets heartbroken by this same guy who told her he could die for her. She is left in the desperation of her true self, wondering where the ‘happiness’ she thought she had had gone. I thought loving him and giving myself to him would make me happy? Where is the Happiness she cries!!! Oh it’s gone she discovers, Wow, I thought it was everlasting, she asks? And nature replies “You can only find true happiness from within and not without”

Friends, the truth is, all your money, your assets, all you’ve worked for in life, and all the external things you thought could make you happy can be gone in a twinkle of an eye. Once a man begins to believe that happiness can be gotten from the “external,” a life of depression takes on him, because he is caught up in the wonder of wanting to preserve while paying less attention to what goes on inside of him.

Your inside as we know produces your outside. It reminds me of the two Chinese men who during the great depression lost everything they had worked for. Four hours after the news of their misfortune, they went ahead to play golf. One may think these men were stupid, but the truth is they learnt not to build their lives on what can be seen but rather on the unseen, which is their inner self. And guess what, they rose again and became better than they were. Their secret was in the content of their hearts and reproducing themselves in others.

All the dissatisfaction you feel is really nothing more than your best life—your destiny knocking at the door of your current life. The ache you feel in your inner core is your spirit telling you to wake up and get back on track—to become congruent and authentic and be the person that you truly are. As Hermann Hesse wrote ‘Each man has only one genuine vocation—to find the way to himself- the very purpose for which God created you and that is true happiness.

Finally, when you become comfortable with yourself, you will realize you don’t need a crowd to make you happy.

The Journey begins

Oh! finally, I decided to start blogging after years of much contemplating. Well i guess its cos i just recently graduated from college, and the boredom of having to sit at home doing nothing motivated me to start my own blog. Fascinated by most bloggers, I thought for a sec "I could also reach the world through my writings, so why not i give it a try?."

This Blog i believe, is going to transform the mind of my readers, as i hope to reach out to the hurting people; people who along the way have deviated from who they were meant to be. People who seek to find their purpose here on earth. Also, I'm going to be sharing some insight on business tips and many other areas as i am inspired to do so. One thing i can promise you is you will always be inspired each time you visit my blog. So, I welcome you to join me on this journey as we find our place in history.

Regards

Huntly Anabs