Wednesday, 20 February 2013

The Strength to HEAL again by POD

Life is so beautiful but at the same time it can be so filled with lacerations. Lacerations come from associations, assimilations and exposures to things, places, experiences and ultimately people.  Lacerations produce feelings of pain. Hurt is the resultant effect of deep seated pain.  Some of us hurt because we have to deal with complex issues and complicated people.  How did the issue get so complex? How is it that I am surrounded with such complicated people? Too many questions and yet too little answers.

Associations and exposures are embraced with some degree of expectation and when expectations are shattered, hurt sets in. The degree of the expectation determines how much pain would be experienced. I believe that associations and exposures are choices. The decision to also have an expectation is also a choice which we have control over. However, no one chooses to be hurt.  No one chooses to be rejected. No one chooses to lose a precious loved one or a relationship into which so much investment had been made.

I can see you try to smile through the day and cry yourself to sleep at night. Life doesn’t just seem so fair at this point. You are truly brave though. To think that despite the weight that you carry-some of you are going through some real stuff not Jimmy walked out on Sally or called Sally stupid kind of stuff- you still manage to put on a smile? That’s simply remarkable! I may not be able to explain the enormity of the hurt that you are experiencing right now, but I am sure that you and I share a similar commitment to end this cycle of pain. You simply can’t keep going on like this.

I know so many people opine that the things you go through helps to make you stronger. However, for you, it hasn’t made you stronger. Being hurt too many times has made you feel vulnerable, secluded and weary of the things that brought you pain. If it was a man, you have become weary of the gender. Somehow the things you have experienced are threatening to destroy all your foundations. You feel like you have lost yourself. Friends, lets help you get rid of the pain. Let’s help you see that you are still whole, you can still smile again. This is why I am writing because I still believe.

Frist healing is a choice. You really need to see yourself from a different perspective. I am sorry for sounding like it’s so easy to do-It’s not. Oh but I hate to see you this way. I hate to see you feeling so battered and confused. I have to present the truth and you just have to take it because it’s from a heart that sincerely believes. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life living from a historical perspective of pain. You must decide that you have cried your last tear and make the decision to look ahead and move on.

So many people who have experienced hurt tend to think that they need to change their personality. It’s been proven that sensitive and nice people feel hurt the most. Why would we face so much cruelty despite the fact that we do our best to be caring and nice? You hurt not because you are nice. You hurt because you are sensitive. You however do not need to change any of these attributes. They are a part of your core and actually serve as your identity. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not too nice as I often hear people say.
If you change who you are, you’d hurt yourself even more.  All you need to do is realize that although you cannot control people’s external actions, you have the power to control your internal response to their actions. 

Dear, I know how much you have cried. Maybe you are correct that I do not understand well enough to try to help you. But I am glad I am trying to help you. This only shows you that they lied when they told you there was no one else to trust. My next solution is to encourage getting to trust someone again. You really don’t deserve to live a weird life of not being able to trust. Real functional people get to trust. You are functional. You can trust again. Understand that when people break your trust, their character remains on the line while you move on knowing you gave your best. Life is beautiful and you are worth the time I spent putting this piece together. You are valuable. This hurt you feel will pass and in the end, you will win.  Afterwhile, this won’t hurt you no more. Release the pain and smile again.



Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

This is me u r talking about! I had tears wen reading dis article cos it rly got to me. Am still crying nd still hurting cos I ws treated badly by sm1 I luvd nd trusted! Friends told me I ws jst too nice and too decent and needed to adjust a bit but I chose to remain who I am...but I ended up in @break again! I av decided to b like dem u knw...2 neva trust or luv any1 fully. I don't see myself even loving or trusting again.

Huntly Anabs said...

Hi anon,
I can realate to what you are going through. Some of us have walked that path. Remaining in the place of pain will only cause you more pain. You've got to open up yourself and allow God's healing power to overshadow you. When people hurt, never allow yourself to remain bitter. True healing comes from God alone, not time.

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