T.D. Jakes: You Shouldn't Confuse Talent with Purpose - Oprah's Lifeclas...

As part of the ongoing journey, I've decided to introduce something new to The Journey Begins. Clearly, y’all should know by now that The Journey Begins isn’t one of those blogs where you come to find celebrity gist, gossip, fashion or entertainment, but rather, a blog where you come to be educated, informed, and inspired. So, from time to time, I’m going to be putting up insightful videos, and I hope that somehow, as we travel on this journey together, we will all end up becoming champions in all walks of life.

So, as you watch this insightful and interesting short clip, It is my hope that you will be enlightened. But before you do, let me give you just a little hint:

Too often, many people confuse what "they do" for what they were actually "designed to do" and so, they end up not utilizing their potentials. In this thought provoking 2 min 34 sec video interview with Oprah, Bishop Td Jakes gave a deep insight on why talent doesn't equate to purpose. I can assure you that this is a must watch. It is life changing.

Be inspired!

PS: Please I’m open to ideas on how to serve you guys better. You can simply do so by leaving a comment in the comment box below.

Gracias

Huntly Anabs

Twitter:@huntlya

Anything Wrong With A Lady Asking A Guy Out?

First of all, let me apologize in advance to you guys just incase you discover any error in  the course of reading this piece. I mistakenly broke my laptop just a few days ago and so I had to write and post this piece using a phone device and editing with a phone is such a big deal so please just manage what you see till i get my laptop fixed. Lol.

Ehn ehn.....

As I was seated beside this lady at the airport waiting to board my flight, her phone rang. .. She picked it up and was on the phone for about 30 mins  gisting with a close friend of her`s I guess. Although I was a little bit distracted by their conversation since I  was busy reading a book, but I didn't mind because somehow I got interested in her telephone conversation.  

Anyway, she was complaining to her friend about this guy in her life who wouldn't make the move by asking her out. "He's caring to a fault and pampers me like no other" she said "but I'm confused because he hasn't made it official yet and I don't want to mistake his attention for affection... He just wouldn't make his intentions known"

By this time, I was no longer interested in the book I was reading, neither was I bothered about arik and their normal delay of flights as I was already getting entertained by this lady's telephone conversation.   Although my eyes were fixed on the pages of the book I was reading, but my ears were attuned to her telephone conversation with her friend. And yes! I know it`s not my business, but then, I couldn't have pretended not to be listening. At least ears are meant for hearing sounds right?. Lol.  So she continued  "I'm tempted to ask him out" she said  "but I feel he's going to see me as someone cheap if do... I'm just confused" hmmm...

As she spoke with her friend, my mind flashed back to my very first relationship where my girlfriend back then happened to be the one who made the first move. Yes! She did. I guess she had waited on me for so long to make the move by asking her out, but because I lacked the courage to and perhaps was immature at the time, I just couldn't. I mean, how could I have looked at her in the face with my then-big nose  and say“I love you.” hell no! I would rather have preferred to die in silence than voice out my affection for her. I was that scared! But the story is different today! If I love a lady, I go after her as a sharp warri guy. Close friends of mine know a lady I chased for almost 3 years without an iota of success. Lmao. Can you imagine!! But that I won't try again oh! I'm not Jacob who waited for Rachel for 14 years.  That's old gist. LOL!  I'm Huntly Anabs. I may sound shallow, but it think  6 months is enough to pursue any lady and if she doesn't give in,  She's on a longgg thing. 

Anyways, I guess one of the challenges ladies are faced with today is that their "male friend(s)" find it difficult defining the relationship and so, they get confused because these "Mr nice guys" wouldn't want to act "nice" by making the relationship graduate from “friends” to “In-a-relationship” or better still, “fiancee.” And because some of these ladies don’t have the patience to wait for the guy to make the move, they either make the move by asking him out or they place him in the “family zone” not “friend zone” and “wave” at some other guy who perhaps they feel may give in.  lol.

So as a lady, can you ask a guy out if he's too slow to see you "waving” along side with that “inviting smile?” Do you think it's weird or not just proper? And as a guy, what if a lady asks you out? Will you give in or will the male ego get in the way?  In general, what do you guys think about a lady asking a guy out?

Let's hear what you have to say. Please share your opinion in the comment box below.

Gracias

Huntly Anabs

Twitter: @huntlya

The Road Less Travelled

Growing up as a little boy, I often was surrounded by people who were my seniors. Rather than be with people of same age, I would sit in the midst of these older guys and listen to them as they talk about life, sports, their career, their relationships and the struggles they face on a day to day basis.  My association with these “older guys” to a great extent influenced my thinking and my perception about life and as a result, I almost didn’t have a childhood. Not only was I greatly inspired by these older guys, but I began to have a sense of direction for my life even at that early stage of my development. Although I wasn’t so sure what I wanted from life, but I was so sure of what I didn’t want.

As I grew older and began to meet new people, I began to see life in a new light. Not that I was mature enough to have understood the intricacies and dynamics of life, but as each day passed by, life became meaningful to me. Thankful, God brought my way a gentle man by name Mr. Yomi who mentored me at that early stage of my development and gave me new lenses through which I began to see life. The more time I spent with him, the more I realized I wasn’t created to “fit in” but to “stand out.” And many times when I tried to become like someone else, I only ended up becoming a  "trial version".

In his poem The road not taken, Robert frost said “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference in my life.” 

The "road less traveled" is a path of discovery. It’s a path where you are forced to come to terms with yourself and your God. Not everyone travel along this path because not everyone has the courage to stand out and have to walk alone. It is a lonely path and the farther you go the lesser your crowd becomes because not everyone has the capacity to keep on with you when you are on a journey to discover who you really are. 

I must inform you that along this path are people who know that wearing the crown is predicated on carrying the cross. They are aware of the fact winning the high jump requires one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot. And the toughest thing about travelling along this path is that you have to keep on moving. The talented don’t always survive this path. It is those who through perseverance, have refused to be daunted by the obstacles along the way, but rather have resolved in their mind to press on in the midst of challenges even as they raise their heads high and see the finish line ahead. Along this path, many things will catch your eye, but only a few things will catch your heart. It is those things that catch your heart you should pursue.

Your potential is really up to you. It doesn’t matter what others might think. There will always be someone out there who will criticize your every move. People will label you as controversial when you don’t think like them or do things the way they expect you to but in spite of what they think about you, or the names they call you, you must remain true to who you really are and never lose yourself while trying to live up to peoples' expectation of you. It doesn’t matter where you come from. It doesn’t even matter what you might have believed about yourself in the past. It’s about what lies within you and whether you can bring it out.

I’m convinced that we live in a time and place with too many opportunities for survival alone. And there’s more to life that mere survival. We need to dream big. We need to step out of the moving crowd and be different. We need to adopt the perspective of someone like playwright George Bernard Shaw who wrote, “Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as bright as possible before turning it over to future generations.”

May I inform you that one of the paradoxes of life is that the things that initially make you successful are rarely the things that keep you successful. So, keep re-inventing yourself. Keep reproducing yourself in other people. Remain open to new ideas and be willing to become a student of life. Become a champion in your thinking. Be better today than you were yesterday. Always believe in yourself even when others don’t believe in you.  Find something you like to do so much that you’d gladly do it for nothing, and if you learn to do it well, someday people will be happy to pay you for it. 

Live your life like you were meant to. Try to see yourself as you could be, not as you are and then do everything in your power to believe you can become that person. Don’t end up like that person whose tomb stone read, “Died at 30, buried at 60.” Don’t allow that to happen to you.

And yes! You can’t travel far in life without God. True are the words of King Solomon when he said, “Trust in God with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember God in everything you do, and He will show you the right path to follow.”

Thanks for always taking out of your time to stop by. I appreciate you

Happy New Month folks.

Gracias

Huntly Anabs

Twitter: @huntlya

Should age be a barrier in a relationship?

A conversation I had with a close friend of mine (Florence Young--- http://fowocare.wordpress.com) inspired me to write this piece. We spoke about a whole lot but for the purpose of not making this article too lengthy, I’m just going to focus on the most important point which you’ll find out as you read on

I consider this topic to be an interesting and multifaceted one. As we all know, relationship involves a whole lot and just like every other quality, age plays a major role in any relationship. Going by the popular cliché “age is just a number,” it’s easy for one to be subjective in their judgment when choosing or settling down with a partner. It is no news that most relationships smother because of poor communication which eventually gives birth to lack of understanding between both partners. This usually is due to the fact that one person is more advanced in reasoning than the other which makes it next to impossible for both partners to get along.

Now, to a very large extent, I believe age has little to do with a person’s level of maturity. Although sometimes, our definition of maturity lacks accuracy and so we write off of a person just because s/he doesn’t fit into our own definition. For instance, some people tell me I think like a 35 year old even though I am just in my mid 20’s while some others tell me I think like a 12 year old.  You get the gist? So, Depending on our personality, we have certain qualities we look out for in the people we hope to date and if those qualities are found missing in them, it becomes next to impossible for them to have our heart.

Having said this, why then do people give up on the one person they love just because s/he is either younger or older than they are?  Why do some ladies prefer to go through emotional pain rather than date someone their junior?  I have seen both guys and ladies suffer in silence just because the one person they love doesn’t fall within their age range; It’s either the person is younger than they are, of same age, or by far older.  So, instead of focusing on the things that bind them together, they focus on the one thing (Age difference) that divides them.

Since ladies mature physically and mentally earlier than guys, they tend to look out for the older boys. The belief is that an older guy understands how a lady is wired and so can handle her even with all her drama as opposed to the younger guy who’s assumed to be rather naïve. While this belief may be true, it is imperative ladies know that not every “older guy” is a grown up. Sometimes, a younger guy is by far a grown up than the older guy. The belief that a man must be older than a woman goes back to when women were married at an early age, often 16, and men their own age couldn't support them. Well, this is 2013. I don’t know if ladies still marry at that tender age anymore.

I, for one, don’t fully support choosing a partner based on age difference (who’s older and who’s not), Important factors in choosing a partner are, how compatible you are in your basic ideas of life and whether you both are able to show understanding , flexibility, patience, acceptance, love and respect to each other in the relationship. However, the age gap between both partners shouldn’t be much so one partner doesn’t get to treat the other like a parent, uncle, aunt, or a child.

To conclude this piece, please allow me share with you a true life story:

I use to know a lady who met this young gentle man on the plane flying from Calabar to Lagos state (both cities in Nigeria). As luck would have it, they were seat mates for the 45 min they were 39000 feet above ground level. As most of us guys do when we sit or stand beside a gorgeous lady, this young gentle man broached a conversation and as they spoke, the lady was quite impressed with his level of maturity, composure and eloquence. They landed safely, got off the plane, proceeded to the terminal, and of course they exchanged contacts. You don’t expect it to end there right? Do you?

Fast forward a few days later, he made the first call, and that first call became the seed which eventually produced a harvest of endless telephone conversations for a period of 2 months until they decided to meet up somewhere. Now, for each time they spoke over the phone prior to their meeting, she was always mesmerized by this his level of maturity. There was this connection that existed between them. ” Quoting her, “I am yet to meet a guy as mature as Femi.” Really? I guess that’s what love can make anyone say.

Long story short, holding a ring, he said those 4 letter words “will you marry me?” and she replied with those 5 letter words “Yes, I will marry you” awwwwww... *Teary eyes* … LOL… You know these days’ ladies hardly turn down proposals.  #just saying.  Anyways, they courted for a year and seven months until one day she found out that Femi was 2 years her junior. Having discovered that she was older than Femi, she broke up with him and decided to put behind her everything they’ve ever shared.  She came home crying to my aunt that she still loves Femi but can’t be with him because of their age difference. I don’t know how many guys or ladies support her decision, but I think it’s ridiculous of her to have called off her relationship with Femi simply because of their age difference.

In your thoughts, just before you place that comment? I would like you to pause and think for a moment, what actually is love? Would you have fallen in love with him if you knew his age in the first place? Arguably, Age is correctly judged by behaviour, disposition and the thought pattern of an individual... If you didn't know his/her age, yet you fell in love and at some point you found out about her age and want to pull out, then something is definitely missing. For you to have fallen in love and experienced bliss in the relationship means he's just the right age for you. This is my final thought pattern as regards this issue, let's read yours.

I would like to know your stand on this topic. As a guy, can you date a lady that’s older than you and as a lady can you date a guy you are older than? Should age really be a barrier in a relationship?

Please share your thoughts in the comment box below.

Thanks for always taking out of your time to read. I appreciate you.

Gracias

Huntly Anabs

Twitter:@huntlya

When all you hear is “silence.”

One of the biggest challenges I had when moving to Sokoto State for my NYSC was adjusting to the silence. Not the silence of the city, but rather the silence that comes from me being quiet- me being alone. My friends know me to be a talkative. I talk almost all the time. And yes! I try to make sense when I talk. How was I now to adapt to this new phase of my life? How was I to go on with my daily activities to utter silence? Yeah! There are times I shut myself to the noise of this world and go into meditation. But this doesn’t happen all the time.  

In chapter 28 of Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, for those of you have read the book, I was drawn to the silence Michael Hosea experienced when asking God if he released Angel to Him (God), would he ever get her back. Now Michael was a good man who fell in love with a bad woman (prostitute) and each time he tries to prove his genuine love to her, she hurts him, leaving him with a scar in his heart.

 This, of course, would not be the first time Michael would have to let her go. The difference now is that she has fallen in love with him. They have known the joy of the true marriage relationship. His love has been reciprocated but God’s silence was his nightmare. Why wouldn’t God speak to him in the midst of his pain? There are several things we must remember about God’s silence in our lives.

*Silence does not mean absence. The Book of Esther is a great example of God at work, but no words. The name of God is not mentioned, but the reality of His presence is everywhere.

*Silence may bring much needed solitude. (BE STILL) Have you sat at a table waiting for someone to SAY SOMETHING? There can be intimidation in moments of silence. However, when you are comfortable enough with someone that no words have to be shared, the relationship has shifted to intimacy. Not necessarily sex! But a comfort level that speaks without words. God's silence is as much a sign of God's presence as of God's absence. That divine silence is not a vacuum to be filled, but a mystery to be entered into. 

*Silence tests our trust. (BE STILL AND KNOW) Do you know people who seem to always "have a Word from God"? First of all, I watch out for those people. Second of all, it shows their inability to trust when there is no voice. Although I realize God is at work, the moments of silence must eventually bring me to a place that I can say, "I don't hear you, but I know you are there." There are a few persons I communicate with on BB almost every day and the days I don’t hear from them doesn’t mean they are not there. You get?

Our seasons of tests and trials have taught us, very simply, to take off the training wheels and ride. At first, we knew God was close by with arms opened wide to catch us if we fall. It is not that He is not close by anymore. He is! Now we must trust the experience of learning to ride and His ever near presence. To take it a step further, we are actually riding a tandem bike and He is in front doing the peddling and the steering!

 In the world we live in, it is easy to allow background noise to mask the beauty of silence. Our senses can get dulled to the symphony God has created just for us. The television, blackberry, ipod, internet, and other useful gadgets can even obscure our ability to hear God. I realize there are times when God seems silent, but it is also possible God's voice may be speaking, but is lost in the crowd of other voices and stuff that invade our busy lives.

I read the story recently of a man who lost his valuable watch in an ice house. His co-workers carefully searched the ice house with him looking for the watch. They looked everywhere, but they couldn't find it. A little boy heard about their search. During his lunch hour he slipped into the ice house and emerged with the watch. All of the men were stunned and said, "How did you find it?" The boy replied, " Well I simply went to the icehouse, closed the door, laid down quietly on the floor, and then I began to listen. After a while, I could hear the tick, tick, tick of the watch." Maybe we need to go in, lay down on the floor, be very quiet, and begin to listen.

In the words of my friend Daniel Addo (http://danaddo.blogspot.com) “God speaks LOUDEST in word”

Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).

Have ever been in a situation when all you hear is God’s silence?  And you are like mehn “I just need a word from God” 

Please a comment

Gracias

Huntly Anabs

Twitter: @huntlya