Before you throw the Mortarboard by Micheal Onobote

So I decided after much postponement and deliberation to write this note. I initially was to make it a testimonial/interview of a sort with real-life views from various people (which would come later) cuz people seem to relate well with experiences than some composed text but then again...I know one person will find some facts and be blessed. Enjoy.

Its few days to graduation and I remember how I felt during this time. With few exams to go, after all the stress and project had taken its pound of flesh. Fast-forward a few days later and the supposed TTG came and went. July also came in the twinkle of an eye and bam! We were out into the 'real world' as they say.

I particularly didn't like the hype given to the 'real world' then, like it was some sort of lions' den or like we were Titus fish being released into shark-infested waters. It was absolutely over-hyped...or not!

I'll get back to that.

Then the big anxiety came after grad. Job, Labour Market, NYSC, MSc...OH! I forgot Marriage too. Then we all began the race and I must say there are a few things we never knew back then.(Hehehe...'back then' like it was 10 years ago, shey. Pardon the drama). Some of which I'd share, not as an experienced one but as one who feels the little he knows is worth sharing.

Till today, I wonder why 20 friends can't just play for 20 years. Life is just not fair!

Then I discovered...At some point in life, you'll be left in that room...after all the celebration...after all the friends are gone to their various houses...party music faded...parents asleep...and you’re staring at that paper you struggled to get for 4/5/6 years in your hand(as the case may be), then you'll be confronted with that big question...WHAT NEXT?

Some will answer the question after grad, some...maybe later...some never. But the essence of this is to charge you to ask it now! What next?

This is not to put unnecessary pressure on you but to actually make you alert and on your guard cuz that's life my bro (or sis).

But before you do that, I'll share with you a simple quote by a mentor and friend, Steve Harris and it goes:

"Your background has no right to put your back on the ground!"

This brings me to the Myth of Grades.

Know this and keep it at the back of your palms: Your 1st class, 2:1 or whatever grade only earns you a seat and a table to write a test.

After that, it ends there. You don't get paid more than the dude with a 2:2 cuz of that. Don't let the 1st class get to your head, neither the 3rd class to your heart.

But notwithstanding, you should value whatever grade you have and are coming out with. It's a matter of your mindset.

John C. Maxwell said: "Success is good if it doesn't get to your head and failure isn't so bad if it doesn't get to your heart".

Puh-lease! Stop telling me there are no jobs! (BIG YIMU to that) There are jobs but no qualified people.

That is another reason to be thankful for where you are coming from (I won't mention the name but you need to see the high demand for your brand out there)

But I'm not surprised, I mean...With all those core values 'forced' as it were into our blood stream...Why won't our packaging be in high demand? They didn't attend 1am impromptu meetings with you or race to Chapel before the door closes. Let them say.

The thing between your ears...Brain, right?

Trust me, the 'real world' as I discovered is not overhyped o. Nobody cares if you were born and bred in Hebron...or your spoken English is better than the Queen's or that your over-starched shirt is sharper than a sword. What can you bring to the table??? What value can you add?

Oh you dress good...great!

Good grades...perfect!

Spirituality in the package...fantabulous!!!

Just one thing...errr...What have you got upstairs asides what your 'papers' say.

People Networking

Also, please keep your connections green. Know people ooo. hmm. Sometimes doors just open via that person who knows someone that knows another person in a high place.

Not everyone will do aptitude tests. Confirmed, Tried and Tested!

Skills, Skills and more Skills!

You’re in accounting and you haven't started thinking of an ICAN or ACCA or CFA?… not a wise idea I must say.

You have a passion for music production and you're not sound in Fruity Loops or Adobe Audition or the likes? You scare me.

You want to be a Networking guru and you've not tried to ping into Library's router once or immerse in those Cisco things, I piry you.

A Business consultant and you're not reading materials to brush up your knowledge base?...not good at all.

A web-designer and you’re still experimenting with Dreamweaver; you need cane!

On a more serious note, skills are in high demand in every industry. Acquire a skill and know it well.

No one's got it all figured out I must add. Have a mentor in your field. Nuff said on that.

Friend or Foe

You will know your true friends after grad. I won't even talk much on this. Some friends you must never ever lose. They might be the link to your open doors. Some you need to discard.

Mind your company and remember:

Birds of the same feathers flock together.

Warri people will say: Birds of the same feather, na the same mama born them.

Pst. Chris Okotie would polish it: Avians of the same plummage navigate within the same degree of proximity.

“Your life in 5 years will be a function of the books you read and the friends you keep”.

I strongly recommend this book (it’s small and not too lengthy), "Leadership Principles for Graduates" by John C. Maxwell. A friend got it for me for my grad and I can say it’s the best gift I got.

In all you do, know this too:

Value family cuz when all else fails, (even though it seems not sometimes) they'll still stick by you.

Never get to the stage where God takes a second place in your life. He is all you need to have your needs met. (This sounds familiar)

And in all you do, never get too serious to forget to enjoy life's subtleties.

There will always be something to worry about, but with God you're at peace always.

Smile, Pray, Love, Forgive and commit all in God's hands. Only Him can figure it all jare.

Micheal Onobote

The Season of LOVE

Happy New/Love Month folks,

February as we all know is the month of love.  It’s a season when partners get to celebrate the bond that exists between them and reflect on their journey so far. So, for the people who are in love, I wish you a happy celebration of love. Make this season worthwhile for your partner by giving her sleeping tablet on the 13^th so she gets to wake up on the 15^th. Loll. Na joke oh! Don’t try it oh… If you are still single, make it worthwhile for YOU by remaining single until after February 14^th. Lol.

Well, I have got a few plans for this month that I’d like to share with you.  Let me just share 2 with you. By the end of the month, I hope to have finished reading 3 books; The 360 degree Leader by John c. Maxwell, In Charge by Myles Munroe and any other random book. Also, I will ensure I don’t fall in love on or before February 14h. No time. lol. So, do you mind sharing your plans for this month with us? Feel free.

Well, some people say being in a relationship is a whole lot of stress. Another school of thought believes that one shouldn’t be in a relationship until he or she is ready to get married.  Some say love is overrated and given too much attention. Hmm… Na wa oh! Do you agree? What do you think? Let us hear what you have to say.

Gracias.

Huntly Anabs

Twitter: @huntlya

Diary of a DISCOURAGED man

1 Samuel 30:6:

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.

David, the shepherd boy turned king, is a broad canvas on which many things can be painted on. Referred to as someone after God’s heart, David was so far from perfect that many of us would consider ourselves better than him if he sat across from us.  I believe that many people are intimated by their perception of perfection or, perhaps better expressed, their misperception of imperfection which is why they try so hard to please or impress people who aren’t even looking.

Just like many of us, David was a man with many flaws and frailties who often struggled to find light in his dark moments. Aware of each time he falls, he runs to God to fix him. I believe to become people after God’s heart does not require perfection. No! It requires a passionate heart and a honest conscience and the perseverance to keep seeking Him when we fall. 

David’s life was a series of struggle and conflict which almost left him and his Kingdom destroyed. One would think that just because you are in the center of God heart means you are automatically exempted from facing challenges. Oh! I’m glad David’s life shows us the other side of the coin.

Now, while David and his men were away, his enemies invaded the city and took captives their wives, children, and belongings and set ablaze the city. Everything David and his men had ever worked for were burnt down to ashes… Back to square one…Can you imagine that?

 On their returning, they were grieved over the tragic event and they wept until they had no more power to weep. Oh! Even warriors do cry. You are not alone. David being the leader was heavily criticized and was almost killed by his army. He was expected to provide quick solution to the problem at hand. What do you do when you don’t have answers to the questions life throws at you? Isn’t it amazing how that you can be forsaken and ostracized by the people in your life?

At the point that David was ready to die and collapse on the floor and he said to himself “I can’t do this no more, am sick and am tired and even those who are with me don’t believe in me anymore and I thought that we will stick together and they didn’t stick together with me” and then when he didn’t have nobody but himself, he ENCOURAGED himself. Have you ever had to encourage yourself in the face of hopeless circumstance?

Sometimes everybody with you can’t keep up with you because everybody doesn’t have the capacity to face disappointment after disappointment after disappointment and still keep on keeping on. In a short period of time you can go through a long period of trouble and pain and be broken to the point of quitting but even in such pit of discouragement, you have to ENCOURAGE yourself. You have to stop waiting on people to encourage you when God has given you the inner tenacity to do so yourself.

I have survived some tough places in my life and some of which I am still surviving. I have had failures too deep to ignore, frustrations too complex to explain. Disappointment too many to count and when no one was there to comfort me, I ENCOURAGED myself. 

If you are out there going through a tough period in your life and all hell seems to be breaking loose on you, and the people you expect to comfort you don’t even understand your pain, or even notice you are fighting a tough battle, I encourage you to find solace in God. He has given you the inner capacity to encourage yourself and slay the giants that comes your way. Just like David encouraged himself when all hell broke loose on him, you also, should ENCOURAGE yourself when you go through tough times.

Gracias

Huntly Anabs

Twitter: @huntlya

To be FOUND again

This was one of my first posts when I started blogging, but a recent conversation I had with a friend prompted me to repost this article. I believe there is someone out there who needs to read this article. I have added a few thoughts as well removed some that I consider irrelevant. Be inspired as you read.

She kept searching and searching for her coin after it had mistakenly fallen off her hand the previous day. She swept the hidden spots of her house clean to find the lost coin, but still, she couldn’t find it. Confused, she wondered how something that is lost can be of any value. Like the woman who searched earnestly for her lost coin, most of us search for that which is lost in our lives- those missing parts of our lives. And we become disappointed and heartbroken when we don’t find what it is we look for.

You alone know that which is lost in your life. You may have lost ____ (fill in blank space). But whatever it is that’s missing in your life, you should be very careful not to give up what you have by focusing on what is lost. You can’t continue to struggle with the “DEAD” (Past) and still expect to remain alive. Bury dead things and birth new hope.

What this woman knew was even though the coin was lost, it had not lost its VALUE it had just lost its USEFULNESS because nothing can be purchased with a lost coin.   The truth of the matter is you cannot help anyone when you are lost. You cannot fulfill your mission in life when you are lost. You cannot help your family or friends when you are lost, and somebody has to care enough about you to put a light in a very dark place. When you are caught in the crevices of life and can’t figure out how to get out, you need somebody that’s going to care enough about you to show you the way out.

It becomes next to impossible to still remain the same after you’ve been hit by the circumstances of life. But friend, you can’t remain broken, bruised, wounded, shattered, or lost.  You’ve got to find your way back; you’ve got to come out of that valley and become USEFUL once more. And the only way you can be found is to GIVE YOURSELF AWAY- give yourself away to your creator. You have got to find a way back to God so He can show you the way through life.

Open up and allow him heal the broken part of you. You are valuable and the only way you can be USEFUL is to be FOUND again, for to be found is to be useful.

Kindly mutter these words to yourself “I am VALUABLE, I may have lost myself but I am coming back again with the help of God.”

Gracias

Huntly 

Twitter: @huntlya

Our Parents CRY

Sometime last month, I had a heart to heart conversation with my dad. He shared with me his challenges as a father to his kids and a husband to his wife. "Just because I don't scream out loud" he said,” doesn't mean I don’t feel the pain that comes from being a father." 

He continued….

"Sometimes I wish I can run away, but to where do I run to? I wish I have the strength to punch life back but I do not? And just because the load is off me doesn't mean the pain is gone. As parents, we live with scars we hide from our children because of the effect it may have on their lives.  I am a survivor today not because I am well educated, well connected or financially buoyant. No! I am a survivor because God has been merciful to me and he has planted in me a dream to pursue. What makes you a man my son, is your ability to confront challenges and make decisions even when all hell is breaking loose."

"As a father, part of what keeps me going is the emotional support I get from my family. Nothing can take the place of a family."

I sat there, listening with rapt attention, at the feet of a man I have come to love, respect and adore. And as he poured out his heart, I wept in my soul for those who never experienced parental love, some who had it and threw it away and some who had it snatched from them by circumstances of life. My heart went out to people who were born just as I was but from broken homes, those who spent their childhood fantasizing about a vacation trip with both parents and never had the opportunity to turn their fantasy to reality. Regardless of what home we come from, our parents are to be appreciated and celebrated for all they’ve been through for us.

If reading the above words causes a new found respect and appreciation for our parents and the struggles they face, I will be proud. If it causes one son to call his dad and say "Thanks for staying the course and fighting through the many pains of life It will be a success. If it causes one daughter to call her mother and say “You are all I want to be when I grow up” then this piece might have fulfilled its purpose. if it causes both son’s and daughter’s to recognize that they are not the only ones who needs emotional support, gets frustrated, faces struggles for which there seems to be little cure and stands relentlessly and gallantly in spite of personal loss and pain, then this time will be well spent..

And most of all, the greatest lessons of life have been learnt by experience, but thank God for the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of others. If you are out there and you are a product of broken, battered, shattered homes, perhaps you hate your dad for hitting your mum or you despise your mum for neglecting her kids, why not cast your mind back to the fact that they did what they did because it was what they thought was right at the time. You see it differently now because somehow you happen to know better. 

Take a stand today, to make heroes out of your parents by determining to live a better life than they did. Ride on the wings of the mistakes they made, the lessons they were forced to learn the hard way. Take a stand for the change you want to see, so that one day your son would call you his hero and your daughter would one day say you are her pride!

Gracias