The Proofs of LOVE

I want to understand love more than anything on planet earth because I know it’s a divine seed that produces a relentless unending harvest. Regardless of our personalities, we all need Love and need to give love.  Most of us know that everything that looks like love is not LOVE and some things that don’t look like love really are love.  Forgive me if is say love isn’t any of those emotions and feelings we tend to have for someone; Love is a decision. That’s the reason why you see a husband or a wife come back home after they’ve been hurt by their partner. Their “feelings” ordinarily wouldn’t allow. 

Love is true and accurate knowledge; love is true value; and love is perfect understanding. So when I say I love you, I am claiming perfect understanding of you. I see you beyond what you look like; I see you beyond all the things you say and do, I have true and accurate knowledge of you, I have perfect understanding of your personality, and I recognize your value. However how sweet or how simple this definition may come across, it is difficult to live by it.

Briefly, I crave your indulgence to share with you some proofs of love.  It is my desire that as you read through each of these proofs, you would realize the areas in which you are lacking, and make proper adjustments. However, let me point out to you that these proofs aren’t all there is to love, but they are important enough to help you in loving better.

The proof of love is the willingness to listen.

Often times, we have so much to say that we can’t wait but interrupt the person speaking just so that we can air our opinion.  From time to time this happens to us as individuals. Listening says: “I value you enough to be patient to hear what you’ve got to say.” When we listen to others with interest, we add value to their lives. For a moment, I feel we should close our laptops, put aside our blackberries, iPhones and other gadgets and give our undivided attention to the person in front of us. So, if we claim to love someone, listening to them shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to do. people want someone who can listen to them.

The proof of love is the gift of time

 When you give someone your time, you are giving him or her part of your life you can never take back. In the words of Rick Warren, “the best way to spell LOVE is ‘TIME’.” We would spend time with the people we love the most. Spending time with the people we love allows us the opportunity to get to get to know them more on a deeper level. Often time, we give a huge part of our time to people that add little or no value in our lives and give little or no time to the people that add the greatest value in our lives. Who do you need to spend time with that you are not spending time with currently?

The proof of love is the gift of correction

Correction says: “I love you enough to stop you from going the wrong way even if it’s going to cost me our relationship.”  Correction diminishes painful experiences. It’s only normal for us to want to sweet-talk the people in our lives even though we know what they are doing isn’t right. If I love you, I should be bold enough to let you know when you go haywire.  Sadly, “correction” has cost many people relationships. Some relationships have had to crash because one person decided to correct the other. However, it is important to correct those whom we love in LOVE.

The proof of love is the passion to pleasure

Lust is a desire to extract pleasure from another person while love is a passion to create pleasure for another person. The proof of love is a passion to pleasure. Everyone in a relationship knows the importance of becoming skilled at loving their partner. There is something about a passion to pleasure; what does this person love? What do they enjoy? Not what we wish they would enjoy. Create an environment where love can be expressed in a glamorous way. Some people do have a problem with being romantic. Let me share something funny with you: I know a friend of mine that won the heart of a girl he had been admiring just by buying her roasted plantain and fish. They call it “Bole.”  Funny isn’t it? Apparently, the girl hails from a rich family and has never had such ‘Local romantic treat” before. The guy being a sharp guy knew that the girl needed something different; something out of the ordinary. She needed a new environment where love can be expressed. Now, I’m not saying you should go buy your partner plantain oh!! You are on your own. All I am trying to say is become skilled at pleasuring the person you say you love.

The proof of love is in the willingness to adapt.

When you love someone there is a remarkable skill that enters you for adaptation. You are able to adapt to changes and unexpected request. It’s what keeps a mother going; it is not the child qualifying but the mother’s to ability adapt.  How do we adapt to the unexpected changes in behaviors from our partners?

The proof of love is a relentless desire to protect.

We all have the tendency to protect the things we love. You see a guy in a public place always reaching out for his pocket to find out if his wallet is intact. Loving someone means protecting those we love. They should be sure of their safety whenever they are with us. 

The proof of love is the willingness to define your expectations.

Love creates expectations. If I start investing my life in you and my emotions in you and I talk to you and I share with you, I expect that you reciprocate even a little bit of the love I show you. I expect you to become faithful to me. I expect you to let me know the plans you have for your future. E.t.c

The proof of love is the swiftness to forgive.

Forgiveness is such a big idea and would take me a page or two to write about. It is a gift you give yourself. It breaks the tie between you and your past.  It is a learned behavior. Many times the people we love the most are the ones that hurts the most and the hardest thing to do in the world when you’ve been hurt is to be open again. Regardless of the pain they cause us, we must be swift to forgive them. However, forgiving someone of something they’ve done doesn’t mean we trust them. Don’t ever mix that up. Trust has got to be built up, it has got to be restored; it has got to be earned. Forgiveness is a decision, but trust is a healing. 

I’m no relationship expert or counselor, but what I’ve just shared with you can make a whole lot of difference in your relationship if only you make up your mind to do them.

Feel free to share your thoughts and add to what have been written on the comment box below.

Gracias

Along the way!

I find it really fascinating how that life has something new to teach every day. Whether as it relates to your relationships, personal life, business, or spiritual life, life teaches you lessons that ordinary you don’t get to learn in school.  The things we learn along the way are what matters the most, not our actual destination. You will be amazed at the things you would learn if only you can pay close attention not to only what goes on inside of you, but also around your immediate environment. Life is a growth school, and only the observant ones get to learn the real lessons.

For a moment, let’s talk about one issue that affects us as individuals. This is not one of those writings where I go all “deep” and “emotional” No! I hope I can express my thoughts in its simplest and basic form without much grammars and all; just plain talk. To start with, I would like to ask you a question: have you ever had people come to you looking for the person they use to know but somehow discovered a new YOU? They expect you to be that same guy or girl they use to know 2 to five years ago but you’ve changed!

Whether we like it or not, the people we know today would someday change either for good or bad and we shouldn’t feel bitter when they no longer relate with us the way they use to. This happens so that we can learn to welcome new people into our lives. When God created man he said: “it is not good for a man to be alone” and out of man’s rib he formed a woman. God’s intention I believe, was for the woman to be his companion, help mate, and supporter. He realized that in order for man to be fulfilled he would need someone he can relate with.

So you see, relationships play a very important role in our lives and in order for us to be all that God intends for us to be we must learn to walk with people. In doing so, we must pay close attention to how our actions affect the people in our lives; people may forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Those little things you do on a daily basis go a long way in making the difference in someone’s life. You may not know it, but somehow, someone, somewhere, is being affected by those actions of yours.  As you travel through life, you would realize that very few people are the best you will ever meet. For the others, just try and be the best to them; be interested in their needs rather than be an interesting person to them.

As we grow up, we realize that it becomes less important to have a ton of friends, and more important to have just a few. The closer you get to destiny the fewer your crowd becomes. I remember how that Abraham told those two servants of he’s that embarked on a journey with him to wait behind while he climbs up the mountain with his son. It wasn’t that those servants of he’s weren’t loyal or trustworthy, but the truth is out of their love for Isaac, they would have discouraged Abraham from sacrificing Isaac as God had commanded.

Trust me when I say this, It is really painful when you have to kiss good bye to certain people who contributed the most in your life. The truth is we all at a later time in life will go our separate ways. We all at a later time in life may not get to say those funny and silly things to ourselves. We may not call each other over the phone anymore. We may not have the opportunity to send text messages that reads “Hope u r good? Just thought I should check on u. Take care" as many of us may change our phone no’s, and probably stop using the social networks. We may not see ourselves to ask how both families are doing. It is painful!

But in spite of all these, what matters the most is the time we spent with each other. Those 10 to 15 minutes we stood talking, those three to four minutes we spent talking on phone and those text messages that was sent. You would realize that everyone you came in contact with had something to teach you.

As I conclude, I want you to know that that there is nothing in your history that is has big as what God has for you in your destiny. Cherish every moment because once those moments are gone they are gone forever, never to come back again. I believe when destiny comes knocking on your door, one question you should expect is: “What lessons did you learn along the way?”

Gracias

AGAINST MY WILL

Hey guys!!!
I came across this touching letter and I thought it would be nice to share it with you guy. Let me use this opportunity to thank you all for always taking out of your time to visit my blog. it means a lot to me. Enjoy the letter below.


Dear Mommy,
I am in heaven now.
I so wanted to be your little girl.
I don’t quite understand what has happened.

I was so excited when I began realising my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place.
I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near
ready to leave my surroundings.

I spent most of my time thinking or
sleeping.
Even from my earliest days,
I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I
cried with you.
Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.
I heard Daddy yelling back.

I was sad, and hoped you
would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much.

One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you.
I couldn’t imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing
happened.
A very mean Monster came into that
warm, comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming,
but you never once tried to help me.

Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I
was screaming and screaming,
“Mommy, Mommy, help me please! Mommy, help me.”

Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn’t anymore.
Then the monster started
ripping my arms off, shredding me into mince pieces, It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.
It didn’t stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain,
I was dying.

I knew I would never see
your face or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn’t, all my dreams
were shattered.

Though I was in utter pain and horror,
I felt the pain of my heart breaking,
I wanted more than anything to be
your daughter.

No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you
before I was gone, but I
didn’t know the words you could
understand.
And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.

I felt myself rising.
I was being carried by
a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain
was gone.

The angel took me away to a wonderful place.
Then I was happy.
I asked the angel what was the thing
was that killed me.
He answered,”ABORTION… I am sorry, for I know how it feels.”

I don’t know what abortion is,
I guess that’s the name of the monster.
I’m writing to say that I love you and to
tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.
I tried very hard to live.

I wanted to live.
I had the will,
but I couldn’t;
the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and
finally got all of me. It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried
to stay with you.

I didn’t want to die.
Also, Mommy,
please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate
for you to go through the kind of pain I did.
Please be careful.
Love,
Your Baby Girl
To every Woman out there:
Please avoid this,its worse than killing someone who at lest got a chance to be born.
If you are not ready for a baby
then just do the A.B.C
Abstain
Be faithful to God and Condomise.

Direction through REJECTION

As we go further, you may want to reevaluate who your real friends are. You see more clearly that the people who treated you the worst were actually preparing you for the best. They stripped from the cumbersome weights and entanglements that hindered the birth of inner resilience. Yes, such friends leave us feeding naked and even vulnerable, but it’s through those feelings that we begin to adapt and see our survival instincts peak. There is within the most timid person-beneath that soft, flaccid demeanor-a God given strength that supercedes any weakness he appeared to have.

Greater still is the fact that we gain great direction through rejection. Rejection helps us focus on horizons without the hindrances of wondering “what if?” Buried deep within the broken heart is a vital need to release and resolve. Although we feel pain when we fail at any task, there is a sweet resolve that delivers us from the cold clutches of uncertainty. If we had not been through some degree of rejection, we would have never been selected by God. Do you realize that chooses people that others reject?! From a rejected son like David to a nearly murdered son like Joseph, God gathers the castaway of men and recycles them.

Focus is everything in life: Directing all your attention to what contributes to your life positively. If your attention is distracted by the constant thirst of other people, or if you are always trying to win people over, you will never be able to live the life God has called you to live. Quit trying to win people over. Do you know that against the rough canvas of rejection and the pain it produces, God paints the greatest sunrise the world has ever seen! That’s you. 

If you want to want to be tenacious, you must be able to walk in the light of God’s selection rather than dwell in the darkness of people’s rejection. These critics are usually just a part of God’s purpose in your life. Although they strip and leave you vulnerable, you must realize that it’s all for your good. Be unashamed of your nakedness (flaws) when it comes to your dealing with people. You’ll know they are your friends when they clothe you with their love and patience. I wouldn’t close this micro soft word without letting you know you are VALUABLE. God took his time to craft you, and when he was done, I’m sure he praised himself for a job well done.

Gracias.

having realistic EXPECTATIONS.

Early this morning, I got into a conversation with a friend of mine and what we talked about left me thinking. I wouldn’t stop talking about the many battles people fight on the inside that we have no knowledge of. Well, we spoke at length about the kind of demands we as individuals place on the people we tend to be in a relationship with; we expect the people in our lives to be 100 percent perfect. And whenever they don’t live up to our expectations we become bitter and our actions towards them changes. Regardless of who you are, somehow, somewhere, you’ve placed unrealistic demands on the people you are in a relationship with, and this has left you feeling bitter for each time they failed you.

Having unrealistic expectations kills relationship. It puts the people in your life under pressure to perform. It makes them become conscious of their everyday dealings with you. They no longer become free with you and a relationship that’s supposed to work naturally is now being put under pressure. As an individual, I have often times found myself having unrealistic expectations from my friends. Oh! I expect them to read and respond to my ping immediately; oh! I expect them to call me every day; oh! I expect them to be there for me all the time; oh! At all point in time, I expect their attitude towards me to be perfect. But then, there are some things your friends can’t give to you. You’ve got to give yourself what you deserve. This is me being real.

 I realized that many of the things we look for in people we lack them ourselves. We must be careful not to put the people in our lives under pressure to perform. Everyone you meet has his or her own battles to fight, and expecting people to come fight your battles for or with you when they have theirs’ to fight is unrealistic. People will definitely hurt you; whether they are aware of it or not, they will hurt you.  That only goes to show they are humans.  When such happens, you must understand that communication is the key. Don’t hold on to something that bothers you and expect things to go smoothly. Relationships crash just because the people involved failed to talk about what bothers them. They allow their pride get in the way of their relationship. You must understand that Pride builds a wall while love builds a bridge. And trust me when I say this, it’s really sad when the people who gave you the best memories become memories.

We must understand that even the strongest of relationships go through challenges. The people you love the most are the ones that hurt you the most. And the hardest thing to do in the world when you’ve been hurt is to be open again. However, Healing is made available only to those who open up themselves. Although healing does not come overnight, but it does come the moment you decide to open up.  Forgiveness is the key word here: Letting go of the pains inflicted on us by those we love and embracing them once again. It’s not as easy as it sound I know! But you know you’ve lost yourself when you no longer have compassion for others anymore.

As we share with one another, we must be prepared to love each other’s imperfections, even when those imperfections challenge our commitment. Don’t forget; faithful are the wounds of a friend. If a friend hurts you, it’s for a good reason. I believe you are not going to throw away your car just because the battery is bad. Similarly, I believe you are not going to throw away the people in your life just because something about them is faulty. Whatever it is, always have the right expectations from people.

Gracias.