Feelings of the HEART

Haha! I know you all have missed me. Sorry about the silence.  The messages, phone calls, tweets and bb pings I received show me you guys really care about my writings. I really appreciate your concern.  I decided to take a break in order to refill my inspirational tank. Lately, I have been doing a lot of readings and I’m just about to finish reading a book by Robert Kiyosaki titled Rich Dad Poor Dad. If you haven’t read this book, I would encourage you to please get a copy. Rich Dad Poor Dad is a life changing book.

So let’s go into business. Today, I decided I’m going to share a personal story of mine. It’s perhaps the most painful experience I had while growing up. For some reason, I wouldn’t go so deep into details.  However, if you are careful enough, you would leave with one or two lessons after reading this article.

So, I encourage you to read this piece with your eyes, mind, and heart wide open. Look in-between the lines for the lessons. Treasures aren’t found on the surface, you’ve got to dig deep for them.

Several years ago, I experienced what is perhaps the most powerful force on earth. Such a force is what everyone, regardless of status, race, educational background and financial capabilities can’t stand when hit by it. It’s so powerful that without it we are nothing.  It’s called LOVE. Yes! I fell in love with a very beautiful girl. Back then, she was everything to me. My world revolved around her.  

Walking down the hall, I heard someone wailing in the class room. I peeped to see who it was, lo and behold; it was the girl that most guys detested and wouldn’t want to have anything to do with because of how proud she was. Just like every other guy, I hated her, but this was past 5pm in the evening and everyone had gone home and I just couldn’t leave her alone in that empty class. Not allowing the hatred I had for her to get in the way, I walked up to her, and without saying a word; I embraced her and allowed her cry while leaning on my left shoulder. I understand that sometimes, people don’t need words when they grieve; they just want someone who can be silent and help them face the reality of their powerlessness. 

She was going through a very tough period in her life and I stepped in to be a friend. As time went by, our friendship grew stronger. We would share with each other things that we didn’t want others to know about us. We both lost friends because it was all about ‘us’ and no one else. We were inseparable. There was never a time we were apart from each other for 1 hour except when we had to say goodbye for the day. For long, we remained friends. But when you really love someone you just can’t be their friend. We both grew to love each other. 

We both made crazy sacrifices for each other and would spend a great deal of time planning our future together. It was such a beautiful experience.  The more time we spent together, the more we became part of each other. Our hearts became so united that the only reason I saw the next day was because her heart didn’t stop beating. 

 Gradually, an unusual fear began to grow within me; the fear that someday, my heart would be broken. On the outside, I would act as thou all is well, but deep down within me there was a civil war going on. How do I reconcile both love and fear? How do I enjoy the moment without letting the fear of tomorrow get in the way? It was challenging finding answers to questions as such.  Fear got in the way and somehow our relationship began to go sour. To cut the long story short, one thing led to another and she told me it was best we go our separate ways. My greatest fear became a reality. My heart was broken.  I was so devastated and for weeks I went without eating solid food. 

For years, I carried this scar in my heart and I just couldn’t open up to love.  Then, I began realizing that the struggle begins not when people surround us, but rather when they forsake us. It is then we begin to discover our own identity and self-worth. It took 5 years to heal from such a traumatic experience.

 Emotional pain is to the spirit what physical pain is to the body. Pain warns that something in our body is not healed. In the same way, when pain feels our hearts, we know that we have an area where healing or restoration is needed.

We need a private place of honesty. We need to be honest with ourselves. We need a place where we can sit down, reflect and mourn. However, we must be careful not to mourn over the past longer than necessary.  After the funeral, there is always a burial. The burial separates the survivor from the deceased. So we must come to a place of separation and decide to move on. 

The greatest tragedy is that most of us keep our pain active. Consequently, our power is never activated because our past remains unresolved.  We must allow the process of healing to take us far beyond bitterness into a resolution that releases us from the prison of depression and sets us free.

God’s healing process makes us free to taste life again, free to trust again, and free to live without the restrictive force of threatening fears. Someone may say, “I don’t want to trust again.” That is only because you are not healed. To never trust again is to live on the pinnacle of a tower. You are safe from life’s threatening grasp, but you are so detached from life that you soon lose consciousness of people, places, dates and events. You become locked into a time warp. You always talk about the past because you stopped living years ago. Listen to your speech. You discuss the past as if it were the present because the past has stolen the present right out of your hand! You’ve got to take it back. 

Could it be possible that there are those around you who want to be part of your life, now that you have chosen to go through the healing process and stop dwelling on what didn’t work out?

Put your seat belt on, get into the driver seat of your life and move on.

Gracias