Surviving the CRASH

Ok guys! This is my first work of fiction, I hope you enjoy every bit of it as well as learn the lessons. Read on.

Lola and Tunde had been friends since they were kids. Lola, 20 years of age would always run to Tunde to seek his advice whenever she had a challenge. Since Tunde was 5 years older than Lola, somehow he was always able to give her the best of advice. 

Their friendship grew so strong that their friends became suspicious of them being in a secret relationship.  Contrary to what their friends thought, they were just friends who had become so close with no strings attached. Lola would disclose to tunde about the latest guy asking her out. Occasionally, she would plan with Tunde on how to empty a guy’s pocket that wouldn’t just let her be. Tunde on the other hand would seek strategy from Lola on how to get a girl to bed. After he succeeds, they would both laugh over it and Tunde would jokingly say to Lola “You are a good strategist.” These people were that close. They knew their deepest secrets.

As their friendship grew stronger by the seconds, their depth of understanding of each other became deeper.  Once, they had a misunderstanding and stopped talking to each other for about a week. In the process, they realized how close they had become to be separate from each other.  No one to joke with, no one to share their depth of knowledge about life with, no one to  share their individual problems with, and no one to just be themselves with. They were lonely.  Consequently, they settled their differences and continued from where they stopped and this time, they became closer.

They have both grown to trust each other.  Tunde never asked Lola out throughout their 15 years knowing each other and Lola on the other hand clung to Tunde even in his worst days. Simply put, their friendship for each other was genuine. 

As time went by, Lola couldn’t love any guy no matter how rich he was and Tunde couldn’t find any girl attractive enough (inside and out) to win his heart. Maybe, they had both grown to love each other without knowing it.

On this day, Lola was depressed and she called Tunde to find out if he was at home. She needed someone she could talk to and Tunde happens to be the best person. Well, Tunde was home and asked that Lola come over so they could talk about it.

This day was different from every other day. Tunde couldn’t believe he had done something heinous to Lola and Lola was shocked that the angel she had known all these years had now become a devil. She had been raped by Tunde. “What could have made Tunde betray the trust I had for him?” she said to herself. “I know I am attractive, but should I be raped by my best friend?” “Why should a man I always run to now be the one I run away from” Lola was bitter and heartbroken that she had been  raped and deflowered by her companion.

Now, she sees every guy she meets as a devil. After all, if the person she trusted betrayed her, then, anyone can as well do the same. She had suddenly built a wall of defense and wouldn’t allow any guy come in. She now sees everyone in her present based on her past experience. The usual cliché “All guys are the same.”

Time they say heals all wounds, but for Lola, it wasn’t a matter of time, it was a matter of her opening up to be healed. Isn’t that the hardest thing in life to do? To open up again after you’ve been hurt. Lola needed a friend she could trust even though her trust for Tunde was betrayed. Rather than suppressing her pains and going through it all alone, she decided she was going to express it. She realized that just because she had been hurt doesn’t mean she shuts the door to her heart.  And her words to everyone who have been hurt before is that part of our healing comes from being open to others.  There’s hope for healing if only you will opens up once again.

Someone may be thinking: How do I reconcile my past and my present? How do I let go of that painful experience I accommodate? How can I be healed from that sharp cut in my heart?  How do I endure the silence from going through hell? How do I forgive myself? It becomes a problem when people are blinded by their past that they no longer see their present or future. Let go of your past, it has no business with your future.

However how painful your past experience may be, healing is possible. There is nothing in your history that is as big as what God has for you in your future. 

Forgiving those who has hurt you is the best way to be healed. John puts it this way, “I wish above all things that you prosper and be in good health even as your soul prospers.” Your soul can’t prosper carrying weights of unforgiveness, bitterness and pains. Lay aside every weight and live the free life you were designed to live.

Embrace yourself, feel the pains, let the tears flow, dry your tears and see clearly. Healing is screaming “if you are ready, I’m available.”  

Gracias

How do i forgive my uncle for raping me?

Dear Huntlya,

I have been reading your posts and I must say you are really doing a great job. I find your articles really inspiring and touching. I’m glad you have on your blog an environment where people can discuss with others their challenges. Such a good and bold step you’ve taken.

When I was 15 years old, I was raped by uncle and he was the first man that slept with me; meaning he deflowered me. Not until 2 months after did I realize that I was pregnant. During those periods, I always saw my period and so it was difficult for me to know I was pregnant. To cut the long story short, the baby died in my womb without me knowing and it took about 1 month for me to know I was carrying a dead baby because of the incessant pain I had on the left side of my stomach.

The doctors operated me and brought out the dead baby. Till date, no one in my family knows it was my uncle that raped me and got me pregnant. I cursed him after that and each time he tried to call me I ignore his calls. It has been very difficult for me since then to let go of that experience.  I want to forgive him, but each time I think of that experience I hate him all the more. I really want to forgive him but don’t know how to go about it.

How do I forgive someone who has caused me that much pain? Please I really really need your comments. I’m desperate

Thanks

Treasured Moments

Treasured moments are moments that bring smile to our face, a tear to our eyes and a vibration in our heart.

They are special and unforgettable.  

We treasured every moment because they bring back the memory of a loved one and a lesson learned in life (take note: a lesson learned).

They are not meant to be hidden or buried, rather they are to be remembered and revived,  to be experience again and again  for they are influential source of strength, guidance, inspiration, and hope as we journey through life. 

Its 8pm, and I’m still seated in my office, thinking about the best moments I have had with loved ones. Sometimes we get so busy thinking about the future that we fail to live in the present. I realized that looking back at where I was as only helped me in appreciating my present and giving me hope for the future

I have had friends who came into my life and beautified it; some who just by giving me a gift of their time transformed my life. When I think of the many late night walks I had while I was in the university, and the moments shared with my few co-walkers, I can’t help but appreciate my past. Yes, sometimes we need to appreciate our past. Those were some beautiful night under the shining stars and the tiny droplet of dew from heaven.

"You don't bring me flowers anymore.."

This line from a song was playing on the radio during my lonesome moment.  
While listening to this song, it reminds me how life has treated me 'till this very day. It was my lonesome moment, and an outburst of emotion has got me almost fainted. 

I thank God that during those moments of sadness,
when I was so down and tired in my journey,
He has given me a helping hand,
in a form of a stranger... a friend.

A friend who listens instead of judging.
A stranger, whom I considered my light in shining armour.
It was a moment, a treasured moment... with a treasured friend.

Getting back to the song...
It was a gentle reminder for me to go back to my real self, to my identity and my mission in this life. 

This is the moment! 
I must live each moment as if my hair is on fire!

Live in the moment and make it so beautiful that it would be worth remembering

Gracias

TRUST God even when you can't TRACE him

I have often wondered how  i got to where I am today. You see, It can be really scary when you have absolutely no clue of what the future holds for you or maybe when you think of the many obstacles that awaits you on your journey.

For me, the lines has been falling in pleasant places. Just when I thought I had it all figured out God just comes with his own plan and he's is always better.

I have learnt to trust God even when I can't trace him. I believe that everything I would ever be has already been orchestrated by him. However, that doesn't mean I sit, and fold my hands and expect everything to fall in place. Infact, Your decisions decides your destiny; everything you would ever be tomorrow is dependent on the decisions you make today.

As you Journey through life, you must learn to trust God. You must understand that his plans for your life are always the best. Sometimes his plans leaves you uncomfortable, but all things works for the betterment of those that trust him.

Be careful not to measure yourself with others..We all have a different path in life. John's path may not be peter's path. Therefore, just because others are succeeding doesn't mean you are failing. You must be careful to remain in the confinement of your purpose and not try to live outside of your calling. 

While you may not know what the future holds, why not trust the one who holds your future? He knows best. So embrace yourself and live in the moment. Plan but always give room for God's plan..

Gracias