I wasn’t so sure if I was
going to go back the same way I had left home. Done shopping, I decided to
treat myself to a cup of ice cream and so, instead of exiting the building at
once, I stopped by the ice cream section where I met this “hot” lady who had my
head spinning like a wheel. I could see as she gazed at me that, perhaps, she
was swept off her feet by my dapper appearance.
I thought I’d take a
chance, so like most guys would, I bought my cup of ice cream, walked up to her
table, and asked, “Can I join you please?” “Sure,” she retorted. Sitting there,
I wasn’t going to pretend as though I was blinded to her seductiveness… I sure
wasn’t. I’m human you know…Just like a photographer would capture a moment with
his camera, my eyes/mind captured her every moves and so, just in an instant, I
knew what kind of conversation would excite her. I guess blending in happens to
be one of my many gifts.
So I kicked off, “Tell
me about yourself…I mean… what excites you… what do you do? Are you a student…? Bla blab la…” And she
goes “I’m just a bitch who loves exploring life….. I’m sure you can tell by my
looks. And yes, I love flirting with guys!”
“Wow!!!... So you call
yourself a bitch?” I asked sarcastically. “Interesting… so… what makes you call
yourself a bitch?” Her response went something like this: “I’m a bitch because
I smoke; drink, party, and have sex with guys I admire not for money, but for
the fun of it.”
I paused for a moment
as I imagined how in the world a lady gets to the point where she sees or thinks
of herself as a bitch. I had heard people use the pejorative term “bitch” but I
didn’t know what it meant until that day I checked it in the dictionary. A Bitch according to the Encarta Dictionary is,
“A female dog, or the female of another
related such as a fox, or of another carnivore such as a ferret.”
Maybe I’m missing
something, and I stand to be corrected, but I tried to see if I could find the
connection between a “bitch” and the ladies who call themselves bitches, but I
couldn’t; A female dog and a lady? *Confused face* So why then do some ladies
call themselves bitches and/or allow guys call them bitches? Could it be that
they want to just fit in with the popular crowd or that they find pleasure in
being “bad”? It seems to me that the bad
guy/girl swag is what’s in vogue.
And so, a
lady sees herself as a bitch just because she has slept with every Tom, Dick
and Harry or because she smokes and drink. But isn’t it usually her
vulnerability or insecurity that brings her to the point where she condescends
so low to accepting the name “BITCH?” I’m really curious.
Maybe I should digress
a little. It has been said that, ‘Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing’. If that’s
true, then one of these splendors should be directed inward. While we value and
validate the worth of others, we must also take the time to affirm our own
sense of personhood. It’s virtually impossible to get people to call us by a
name we do not call ourselves. We actually train others on how to treat us by
the way we treat ourselves. They need to hear us sing our song and hum to our
own solo. They watch from a distance, our level of style and class, and our
preferences. And it is what they see in us that determines how they relate to
us.
Now, it’s easy for us
to crucify people whose flaws and frailties are glaring, especially when we
don’t know what got them into the mess they are in. I believe one of the
ironies of life is that people will ignore your good traits and label you bad
over something you didn’t get right. More unfortunate is when people dump their
opinion of themselves and accept what others say they are; they measure
themselves based on what they do and not on who they really are. And because
the pressure keeps mounting and no one understands their pain…next thing you
know: “I’m a bitch,” “and that’s who I
am because people call me one”.
I believe many ladies find it difficult to appreciate/value themselves not
because they don’t want to but because society puts pressure on them to be
perfect and completely selfless; any attempt at self nurturing and self love is
condemned, eliciting accusations of being selfish and narcissistic. Thus, so
many women comply, never valuing themselves, never recognizing the princess
within them. And not knowing who they really are, they accept what others call
them. Don’t you ever think it’s easy to overcome this pressure. Even the most
liberated people are adversely affected by the pressure of public opinion. From
experience, I can categorically argue that withstanding the opinion of others
is at best stressful and at worst debilitating.
So…Many ladies, I
believe, are crippled by the masses of people, particularly their close friends
who do not allow them the freedom of their own opinions and the exploration of
their own personhood. I used to think I don’t care what people think of me, but
as I grew older, I discovered to some degree I was still vulnerable to their
words and ideas. May be I didn’t just show it but in reality their opinions of
me got to the very core of my soul. I just knew how to handle it better I
guess. You know we all have the tendency to act like a superman- nothing gets
to us. Ha-ha, that’s a joke.
Perhaps one of the most
difficult things to achieve is for ladies, men as well, to strip themselves off
the many garments society puts on them. Many are the ladies, who believe they
are bitches because they smoke, party, drink, have sex with every guy and do
openly, what others would prefer to do in the secret. They accept the bitch label to conform to the
masses. But may I present a slightly different message... While doing those things isn’t right, doing them doesn’t make one a
bitch. And yes! If a lady keeps seeing or calling herself a bitch, then she
should expect others, guys especially, to call her by the she name calls herself-BITCH.
Lastly, if I were to
define a bitch, my definition would go something like: A bitch is someone who thinks she’s a bitch. (ooopps!!!!) Please
don’t quote me.
I would like to read your opinion on this
subject matter. Please do leave a comment in the comment box below. And you can
as well follow me on twitter: @huntlya
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OUT FOR JUNE 9th: Save The DATE
Rebranding Minds
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